Cat Commandments
Thou
shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is using the computer
Thou
shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem
Thou
shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper on the roll
Fast
as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors
Thou
shall not vomit from high places
Thou
shalt not sit in front of the television or act as thou art transparent
Thou
shalt not push open the toilet door when there are guests in the house, using
the toilet
Thou
shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt on the dinner
table
Thou
shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face
Thou
shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap region
Thou
shalt not re-set thy human's alarm clock by walking on it
Thou
shalt not climb on the rubbish bin with the hinged lid, as thou wilt fall in and
trap thy self
Thou
shalt not jump onto thy human's lap when thy human is sitting on the toilet
Thou
shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4am
Thou
shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at every
opportunity
Thou
shalt not trip thy human even if they walketh too slow
Thou shalt show remorse when scolded